Hallowqueen is Creeping Up

Did you see what I did there?? Halloween is now gay appropriate as Hallowqueen!!!… Erghs… tough crowd… anyway, with Halloween fast approaching I’m reminded that I’ve never been much of a celebrator of this ‘holiday’… I think its because Mrs Mao would generally say its demon day!… That, and its not so big in Australia… I remember being more scared of random people coming to our door, scared that some bogan child would abuse us for the ‘White Rabbit’ lolly we gave them rather than some ‘Western sweet’… White Rabbit lollies, as several asians would know is the DUCKS NUTS/BOMB DIGGETY!!… The equivalent in the caucasian world would be a Milko wrapped in rice paper… which is EDIBLE!!… Margaret Cho in her last show did a skit about the White Rabbit Candy likening it to an uncut cock and how the rice paper on the outside is delicious but the real goodness is when you peel it back revealing the true milky PRIZE!!!!…

Something exciting I saw the other day which I might try for lil sh*ts that don’t deserve candy is… I hear here in Toronto there’s a large ethnic group who don’t quite get the point of Halloween and that you have to put some effort into your costume to get lollies and hence will wear normal everyday clothes and just wear a spiderman mask and put their grubby hands out for candy… no no, you will not get anything delightful little child, instead you will get a TOFFEE ONION!!… Hallowqueen, as another one of my favourite movie’s Mean Girls, points out is ‘the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut  and no other girls can say anything about it’

My theory is that there are three categories to choose from; safe, silly or sexy.  Within each of these categories are subcategories…

Safe: boring or predictable

This is Safe Boring

This is Safe Predictable

Safe Predicatable, although safe can still make you look ridiculous and wrong…

The category of Silly has: on trend or ridiculous

On Trend Silly appropriate for last year

Silly Ridiculous… a used maxi pad?? really?!
Ew!

Sexy costumes have the categories: slutty, sluttier, sluttiest… lets review!… Thanks to this amazing website ‘Halloween Hunks‘ I’ve selected a few to illustrate the following category!

Sexy Slutty Pikachu… but cute (>_<)

Sexy Slutty Thundercat

Sexy Slutty Clown

Sexy Sluttier Founding Fathers of America

Sexy Slutty still classy (with the help of body paint) Superheroes

Sexy Sluttier Superheroes

Sexy Sluttiest Gladiator… does he have a golden cock???

Plain Susie McSlutster!

It is important to remember that your pet can also act as an accessory… here are a few ideas 🙂

headless horsedog
Noble steed

Tank Dog

And remember, DON’T forget your children either!

But final word advice would be, whatever you choose from which ever category always remember! It is very difficult to look good in a ‘My Little Pony’ costume regardless of how much of a hunk or babe you may be 😛

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