man flu season

As the seasons change here in the Northern Hemisphere and the weather gets colder it only signals one thing… the WORSE yearly illness to hit the male population… MAN FLU! Not something to snigger at women! Man Flu is real and its coming for your loved/hated ones!… Any male is susceptible, there are no predisposing factors apart from having a penis… Usually its the best kind of man that contracts man flu, he’s kind, sharing, loving, handsome (but not too handsome), fit, likeable and takes care of himself.  It just doesn’t seem fair…

Here is an example of a typical victim of Man Flu

There have been myths of man flu destroying lives, men dying of man flu… these men usually have gloves with no fingers, a ratty beard, haven’t showered in weeks, always asking for spare change, but studies are starting to find that maybe this is more likely due to the silent killer, Hoboitis…

An example of someone who will snatched by the jaws of Hoboitis

Man flu is the virus strain X1Y1 and is a distant relative to previous pandemics; swine and bird flu.

There have been several campaigns to educate the public, especially women in just how severe Man Flu… Actor Nick Frost known for his roles in Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz has endorsed these campaigns…

SYMPTOMS
You have Man Flu if you are a man and have one or more of the following symptoms:
– a sore throat… kinda tickley… not too severe… an increase in soreness is most likely tonsillitis or cancer
– feeling slightly warmer than usual, this still persists after one layer of clothing has been removed
– a snuffly/runny nose or semi-blocked nose (approximately 75%-80% blockage factor)
– a cough… ANY kind of cough
– your general sunny disposition is covered over by grey clouds
– you lie in bed and think of better days
– aloe vera tissues feel rough and sandpaper like
– you lose all motivation to cover your mouth when cough or sneezing

TREATMENT
Man Flu is difficult to treat, peoples’ recovery rates differ based on several factors the best thing to do is:
– do not down play the severity of this illness, turning a blind eye will only lead to further complications i.e. more whinging
– attend to every need of the sick one
– acknowledge that it is the end of the world e.g. ‘you’re probably not gonna make it’, ‘you will most likely die’, ‘i’d much rather have cancer’
– the man knows best as to what is going to help him get better, whether it be a twin pole, cold beverages, watching TV all day or going to the gym… man ALWAYS knows best!…
– sometimes it may get worse before getting better, this is normal, especially if the man tries ‘different’ methods to get better, BUT it is all part of the road to recovery
– take time off work

PREVENTION
– Prophylactic sick days are recommended… Taking 1 day off work when you have minor symptoms will mean not having to take off weeks like our female counterparts…
– Regular intake of vitamin C and echinacia
– Plenty of rest
– Do not believe what women have to say about Man Flu… it is real!… Some women will react with the following…

Do not let them play it down! RISE ABOVE IT!…

x

OMSF

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6 responses to “man flu season

  1. Pingback: Tronno Triggerfish Training Report 21/10/12 | OMSF :O·

  2. Pingback: Tronno Triggerfish Training Report 26/10/12 | OMSF :O·

  3. real men dont get man flu. Tho some of the fags in the photos dont look much like real men anyway. Man flu is a head cold that wimps and fags blow (no pun intended) out of all proportion.

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