Gardeners vs Flowers

Having a bit of spare time on my hands I’ve managed to watch several episodes of my favourite sitcom Will and Grace.  Season 1 episode 13 ‘An Unsinkable Mommy’ brings up a unique concept about relationships… Gardeners vs Flowers… Which one are you?

The Gardener in a relationship is the care taker.  Gardeners will water the Flower with love, often happy to do whatever the Flower wants to do and usually is EXTREMELY proud of their Flower! A Flowers appearance, impression and overall demeanour is a reflection on they Gardener.  Gardeners will tend to be more in touch with fertilising the relationship and tending to its needs.  Gardeners also have the ability and skills to prune the Flower when necessary, not allowing it to grow out of control.  It is important to note that Gardeners are NOT walk-overs.  The role of the Gardener is a necessity in any relationship, without a Gardener the Flower will most likely wither or possibly grow into some monstrous uncontrollable weed!!

Flowers, the centre of attention! The one who enjoys being showered with praise, usually the vibrant personality in a social situation.  Flowers range in types, everything from a mild miniature buttercup all the way up to a ‘stinking rose’! If you’re a Flower, you KNOW you’re a FLOWER, there is no denying your role! However, do not let people talk down to you if you are a Flower, there is no shame in being one.  As Flower you have something to give back, whether it be laughs, an impromptu dance routine, a delicious chocolate cake baked from scratch, an impeccable eye to know that gingers should not wear shades and hues of red… You are contributing to society! Remember someone has to be THAT topless guy on the podium at the club, someone has to be THAT girl in the skimpy bikini at the beach! Someone has to be Jennifer Lopez on a podium in a glittery silver corset with 1000s of yards of chiffon being blown by 2 wind machines!!!!!!

Gardeners generally do not like to be mistaken for a Flower.  Here is a typical reaction of a Gay Gardener being called a Flower when …


It is important to note that if you are a Gardener, you NEED a Flower and vice versa.  One can not survive without the other.  The relationship will be unbalanced… Take for example two Gardeners, each trying to tend to the other… Or two Flowers (the WORST COMBINATION)… Imagine this simple scenario beginning with the question ‘What do you want to do tonight?’

2 Gardeners
‘What do you wanna do?’
‘Noo, what do YOU wanna do?’
‘Nooooo come on what do YOUUUUU wanna do?’
‘No, what do YOU YOU YOU wanna do?’
This equals boring, sickening, stupid and unproductive! *insert Family Feud strike noise*

2 Flowers
‘I was going to go have a shower, then do my hair, fix my outfit then head out with Janice!’
*more silence*
‘Well, aren’t you going to ask ME what I want to do?’
‘No…*insert stage whisper* (Cause I don’t care)’
‘Well, I’m going to tell you anyway’
*big sigh*
‘I was going to sort out my outfit, then shower and do my hair and then head out with Juan!’
This doesn’t work either, in fact this works even LESS than 2 Gardeners… The pairing of Flowers with Flowers is catastrophic, do not EVER let this happen!..

I hear people say can I be versatile?? Why yes! You can… that is all…

So in conclusion, remember that regardless of what you are there is no harm in admitting to it! Embrace being a BIG STINKING ROSE! or being an attentive Gardener…each one needs the other, a relationship of equals!..Flower vs Gardeners, discuss!


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